So, I've been reading a lot of books and watching a lot of shows lately that focus on vampires and the supernatural creatures involved with them. For some reason, I find this genre of literature and tv pretty fascinating and at the moment I'm reading one of the classics, "Interview with the Vampire" by Anne Rice. Of the vampire books that I've read, it has been the best written, most acutely emotional, most swiftly moving. Granted, I haven't read that many vampire books, (only 3 series, which, I guess totals up to about 13), but I now see where Stephanie Meyer (whose writing I detest, but must admit that her stories are fun) obtained her premise for the "Twilight" series. From here on out, this post will be a scathing review of a series I once found entertaining, but now just really piss me off.
To begin, Meyer's "Twilight" saga is definitely one that is entertaining, I won't deny her that. Also, her character development is incredible. You truly do learn the perfect amount at the perfect time about each character. Specifically, her development of Bella is both smart and intruiging. As you read, it is easy to understand Bella's reasoning simply because she's been described and explained so well. Edward, too, is illustrated so as to give just the right amount of information when needed. Meyer knows when to tell and when to hide. This aspect of her writing is impressive and enjoyable.
However. Aside from her impeccable character development, her lackluster writing skills combined with the fact that 3/4 of her material is completely ripped off has definitely turned me off. I was willing at first to give the books their due: they are a fast-paced, surreal, puppy-love filled journey of two teens in love, with all the odds against them. It's cute, it's suspensful at times, but overall, it fails to provide strong literary grit and substance. Starting with the first book, "Twilight," Meyer relentlessly beats readers to death with Edward Cullen's (vampiric) beauty. There must be at least 25 instances where Bella (protagonist/stupid, impressionable girl) is enamored with Edward's face, forgeting to breathe because she is so enthralled. Gag me.
It's one thing to inform readers that the person with whom your protagonist is enraptured is the most good-looking teenager on the planet, quite another to remind them of this every 3 pages. It gets old quick. Is it not common knowledge already that vampires are handsome, beautiful creatures who don't age? We get it, Stephanie, stop writing as if we didn't get it the first 97 times. That is not my only complaint about the first book in the series, but I digress. In my opinion, Twilight is in the top 2 of the series. Coming in at a very low 4th is New Moon.
Wow. What to say about New Moon. New Moon is the second book in the series. The first time I read through the series, it was my least favorite book. I just finished reading it again, in anticipation of the movie coming out tomorrow, simply to refresh my memory. Well, my memory was right. This book is terrible. Not only is it terribly written (as usual for Stephenie Meyer), but the main character, Bella Swan, is simply pathetic. If she were my daughter, I would've slapped some sense into her and told her to get her act together.
photo courtesy of: https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUMnaGRcJWdullT4kX2XdOadPFCbHsgz5dd1t7zeXKVoMrWdgVuVUj_iC6Vc7T9HNt0VGAGQDeknggsRgZkf8sm9-yi7CG5ryaDaW-qnIvR6nszoigQUIWk3SulmY4TfckCAsa1A-N2mA/s1600-h/1054326558_ultsdamsel.jpgListen, Missy: quit crying. You aren't 5, and it's just a boy.
If you haven't read the book (be grateful), I'll give you a brief synopsis: Edward, Bella's 17 year old vampire boyfriend, leaves Bella because he feels that his presence causes her danger, which, huh, it does, because....HE'S A VAMPIRE!!! Consequently, Bella slips into an overly dramatic depression, during which, she mopes around completely devoid of personality and liveliness. She wakes up screaming every night after her nightmare about wandering alone in the woods without Edward. Wakes up screaming. Everynight. Anyway, book moves along, she finds a new friend, discovers Edward is going to off himself and flies to Italy to "save" him from said offing. During their flight back home, she literally never stops staring at his "perfect face," tracing it with her fingers, memorizing it with her hands, for, she thinks, to waste one moment asleep, not looking at his face, would be utterly intolerable.
So basically, it all boils down to a depressed, mopey teenage girl sobbing and alienating everyone in her life for 6 months until Edward finally comes back to her, at which point, she totally cuts off the one friend who was there for her during her darkest hours. A GREAT message to send to teenage girls, no?! Ugh. Disgusting. Like I said, if my daughter were going through something like this, at first, I would be understanding and help her through it. But after the first 2 weeks or so, if she were still being an embarassing excuse for a female, I would have a little chit-chat with her, tell her to stand up, take a deep breath, and move the hell on. Life is NOT all about boys. Life is about friendship, laughter, family, etc. Bella kills me. Wake up from your damn zombie trance, go out on a date, and GET OVER IT!!!
Le sigh. I know I just went off on a tangent there. I'll hop off my soapbox now. The third book is "Eclipse." It's pretty good. Still stupid and poorly written, but at least there's suspense and a slightly more bearable plotline. But, since I feel much more like complaining today, I'm going to move on to book 4. :)
"Breaking Dawn" (the 4th book, in case some of you didn't make that leap with me) began with the true makings of a good story (albeit on an incredibly weak foundation): Bella becomes pregnant with Edward's child (despite Meyer's previous rule that vampires CANNOT reproduce), a child that threatens Bella's health, and eventually, life. The suspense remains almost palpable as Bella nears her due date, and she is willing to die for the life of her child. This is true literary grit: the author's ability to kill off a beloved main character, to make the ultimate sacrifice. Unfortunately, Meyer doesn't have the balls. Bella, on the brink of death while giving birth, has the child, and then is saved by Edward acting swiftly and turning her into a vampire after the baby has been born. Ok. Great, Edward saves the day. The baby (Renesmee. Yeah, that's what she names her daughter. Is there a worse name?) is healthy and beautiful, a vampire-human hybrid that has superhuman strength, drinks blood, but also has a heartbeat and her own blood coursing through her veins. Bella is transformed into a strong, beautiful vampire (noting of course how thankful she is to finally be beautiful, and therefore, worthy of Edward's love. Yet another great message for impressionable teenage girls). Everything seems to be perfect in the land of the undead, but danger lurks around the corner as the Vulturi (the Royal vampire family that enforces strict vampire law) catch wind of the creation of an "immortal child."
Long story short (kind of): An "immortal child" is a child who was made a vampire as a baby. So, a vicious, bloodsucking child. Obvious why that would be against the rules. The Vultori are under the (incorrect) impression that Renesmee (Bella and Edward's daughter) is an immortal child, so they come to do justice to the Cullen family, (which includes Edward, Bella, Renesmee, Carlisle, Esme, Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie, all vampires), justice in the realm of their complete and total demise. The Cullens gear up to fight, to save themselves and Renesmee, and show the Vultori that she is not, in fact, an immortal child. See, to me, this seems simple. Of course the Cullens will have time to say, "Hey! Wait! She's not immortal, see?! She has a heartbeat!" But apparently, they won't, which is nonsense. Blah, blah, blah, they gather other vampires to help their cause, hoping that they'll be able to slow the Vultori down. The Vultori show up and the showdown ensues. When one thinks of a vampire showdown, one must think of death and destruction and insane awesome fighting and danger. Danger that will surely end in death, torment, and agony. No. None of the above. In the last chapters of the book, one of them ironically dubbed "Bloodlust," the big showdown between the Cullens and the Vulturi comes to a head. Surely, there will be a battle, a bloody (since one of the chapters is named "bloodlust" right?), skull-crushing, limb-ripping, head-rolling fight to the very end, right???!!! Right?! Mmmm.....no. The two groups talk. They talk and leer and growl at one another until the Vulturi eventually turn around and go back to Italy. Everyone lives happily ever after. Edward, Bella, and the rest of the Cullens have to sacrifice absolutely nothing to get what they want: an eternity of long, happy, beautiful, rich life. Doesn't happen in real life, shouldn't happen in literature. Does not cut it. A great book requires true, honest, painful sacrifice, and unfortunately, Stephenie Meyer does not deliver that. Good literature moves you, shakes you to your core, makes you cry and hate the author for what they've done. Real, true, honest literature mimcs life: there are problems, people die, and things don't always (if ever) go your way. Nothing goes wrong in the Twilight saga. Everything works out perfectly. Nice 'n neat. Not even the bad guys die! They just go back home to another continent. I'm sorry, but the bad guys in our own lives don't just fly back to Italy, never bothering us again. Stephenie Meyer has no grit, no balls, and no raw honest talent. So there.
I don't sound bitter, do I? :) Having said all that, let me admit that I really do enjoy these books. I enjoy discussing them and re-reading them. Perhaps it's the mark of a good book that it's created this much passion in me. I could talk about it for hours, really. So, hey, I may have my problems with it, but at the end of the day, it gets me thinking, and for that I can't complain. :)
